It started off like any normal day for me along with countless others on our Train bound for London.
You sit in your carriage,grateful not to stand,pretending to read a paper,cos that is what you do.Your aware that you in a bit of a mood with your wife this morning,you sort of send her a half apology by text.After you click send,you think a bit about your kids and why you were short with them too.Thinking is one thing,but doing something about it is another.
It’s 7 23 ,and your really tired,you wonder why,it’s Monday morning.Maybe it’s those extra pounds that you’ve put on these past few months.You think about that Gym membership,you rationalise that if you cut back a bit on lunch then maybe you’ll feel better.Your eyes are getting heavy,almost too heavy to stop from closing.Your almost to the point of surrender when…………………..you feel the Train coming to a crashing halt,your almost catapulted out of your seat.
For what appears an age,you think that the train has derailed.You think it has.You don’t know.No one tells you.
People around begin to try to find the guard.Impatience can be tasted among commuters
You don’t want to think too much about what has happened,that can be dangerous.
Someone has found a guard .The concensus is that someone has jumped in front of the train.
When mortality is at stake,it’s like all life is,all meaning is suspended.
Now,instead of justifying your mood to your wife,your children,profound emotions rush into your head about how fragile life is.
You can’t do anything ,you see.Your impotent.
It’s a salutary lesson that life is tough,and for some it is too much.We can not judge,and we are fortunate to have a family and a home and a job.
A few days later,he reads his newspaper a see the terrible statement about that poor human throwing themselves in front of a Train.His Train.
Treasure the good that we have,have love for those who are mentally ill.Be patient with our love ones.
kernowsmith 