Sometimes,stuff happens in life that we wished hadn’t have.Maybe it’s just a stupid thing with a friend,or a falling out that we never intended to happen.
People who pretend that they never have these types of issues never happen in their lives,are very fortunate,that’s all I will say.In my life,I’ve had upset,others,sometimes it’s the others persons fault,but many a time I know it’s been me.When this occurs,it’s often the easy way out to avoid that person,not mixing with them,or just out and out blanking them.Even though we enjoyed good times with that person,and spent some serious moments too,we might forget all of that,in favour of cutting them off from our circle of trust as it were.
As a teacher of teenagers,I see this a lot.Yes,it can vary in its gravity,but it’s real,I can assure you.At its worse,it can cause serious mental health problems to the one that is shunned,leaving prone to complete social isolation.So yes,this is a big deal.Now,many youngsters cope by forming new bonds within their cohort,and although they might be hurting,they have a coping mechanism.
As a young man,I had a piano duet partner that I was close to,but,through my own stupidity allowed a stupid feud to grow to a point where things fractured.Now,over 35 years later,even though we are in contact,our friendship isn’t the same.Now,I know that I will have to live with that,but I very much regret my actions back then,I really do.
Most of what is best in life has to do with our relationships.Yes,stuff plays a part,our jobs,possessions and the like,but they pale into nothing when compared to our relationships.To illustrate:I play the Piano about once a month in a nursing home near where I live.As I live in the Bournemouth area there is a never ending supply of them eager enough to snap the hand off of any musician who will entertain the residents.One thing I noticed after a while was the ones that engaged with the music by singing along and having a laugh were also the ones who got on well with their fellow residents.Those who were seemingly miserable or morose,tended to isolate themselves from the rest in the home.
To elaborate a little;the other day I went in to play for the residents at the home and I noticed that Gillian,who had been the life and soul of the party wasn’t there.As she had always been in rude health,I enquired after her,and the matron had said that she had lost her Daughter in death through cancer.It had transpired,that her daughter had battled with Bowel cancer for a while,but that this awful disease had taken her.
Now Gillian had always kept so many going with song sheets and leading the singing.Gillian always had a kind word for everyone.Knowing that she knew how poorly her daughter had been touched me,Gillian always asked after my son too.
What I mean by bringing this up is this,sometimes we don’t know what the future will be for us.If we can cut people some slack in their life and understand that things might be tough,it may be that a journey through life is just that little bit better.
Now,I can’t turn the clock back on my life,neither can you.However,I feel that relationships are worth trying our best to maintain and nurtur.
Many of my pupils come from the wrong side of town as it were.Some have never known what a proper family life is like.This means that they need support in all its different forms.It means that they often need guidance to maintain relationships at school because the stakes are so very high here.
Yes,I’ve messed up in life before,but I can still try each with the relationships that I have,because we are all human,and we all need one another.