After a two week period of abstinence,I finally did it.Yes,I played my Piano.Its quite a thing when you have spent everyday day for the past 45 years tickling the ivories to have stopped.Yes,illness prevented me from playng the old Joanna.
My relationship with my piano is like any other really.There are times of wonderful affection,my best friend,my soul mate,my partner,the other side of me as it were.However,at times,there is a reticence to communicate,a cool atmosphere,a dare I say it domestic.But,I always realise that the longest relationship that I have ever had has been with my Piano.As I write it,it sounds weird,and it is.Everyone who is truly in my life understands that about me,it’s at one,a redeeming thing,and at the other a fault line.
From a child,music has always drawn me in one way or the other.Having had these distractions in music for the whole of my life,I feel so fortunate that I have family and friends who understand this love.The Greeks have four words to encompass love not its entirety,they are Agape,that is,the love as a moral principle,Storge,the love that exists thng the bonds f the family,Philia,which is the affectionate love that we have with our friends,and finally,Eros,the love of sexual attraction.
Well,when I say that I love my piano,I sort of mean my affection for it,but it is,to me,like a member of my family.Today,I sat and improvised for about 30 minutes.It was a special time,although it was later on in the evening,it was 30 minutes of an internal light for me.Yes,I had had these sounds in my head for quite a period,it needed the gravity of the atmosphere to vibrate in me.When I was a child,because I didn’t have a piano for a while,you had to go t the church to practice.It was often cold,and Sometmes scary.Tonight,it wasn’t cold,it wasn’t scary.I dnt know why I’m writing this in my blog,I just write what I feel I suppose.
As I see it,I’ve gotten through a health scare,and I got back to doing what I do.Yes,I miss my pupils very much,because they put up with my musical indulgences,my obsession with it.Many of my pupils have loads o f other stuff going on in their lives.Its tough for them,and I appreciate what they do to further their musical progress.They are on my mind,and I want to be stronger to get back to teachng them.However,tonight was a big by step to me.
If my Piano could talk,it might say that I appeared very rusty tonight,very vague,almost afraid.However,I’m not afraid of that sort of fear,I will get back to me,like I’m not afraid to say how I feel about anything.As I see it,you can be yourself,or something that others demand of you,only to realise that they don’t always know themselves,let alone you.My Piano might have gone on to say that she missed me,that would like for me to visit her again,that she has all the notes,all I have got to do is to cook them up into a pleasing musical dish.
Recently,I heard about one of my special pupils who described what music she would take with her on a desert Island.She described needing music to perform different tasks in order to survive on this Island.This,I think,was a salient thng to say fr music is infinitely practical as well as emotional.My enforced sabbatical from the piano has given me a valuable lesson of not denyng who I am,and that is a Piano Player,and teacher,no more,no less.Yes,I’m not a bad guy at heart,and I try to help people to thrive,but that is me.
I’m kinda happy with that.