A soft voice ,a robust intellect and a smile that doesn’t always touch the eyes:Maybe a description of a number of people that we might identify with along the pathway of life.These characteristics ,though not unique,might attract the average person or at least intrigue them.Its apparent that the marketing folk think so because you only have to access any media feed via the main avenues of entertainment and you come across people who manifest these self same characteristics.
Spending time with such a person can be mutually enjoyable ,pleasant in fact if that doesn’t sound too insipid,and if a meeting in whatever format brings a measure of mutual pleasure,then it is normally followed by a mental positive feeling,Now,who of us would deliberately hide a foible or a characteristic that might fly in the face of that smile,or intellect ,and especially ,in my case,a soft voice.Why,that wouldn’t be too smart now ,would it,because we are all naturally inclined to put on our best traits ,our Sunday best to use an outmoded phrase .Perhaps it might take a seasoned people watcher to notice that smile ,that undertone sneer ,That judgemental conclusion to someone’s plight.
If our makeup is to think the best ,to ward off thoughts that are negative to see the good in another ,then even if we notice the undercurrents in a conversation ,be it with a work colleague ,or a person in a local gym or any other arena of life,we would perhaps tend to put our judgements to one side because it isn’t our natural inclination to be so perturbed about these things.
Over my 63 years of life,I’ve met ,mainly though my association with religious settings either in the mainstream churches,or through close links with a fundamentalist group,quite a number of folk who are outwardly pleasant and appear very together in life but I have to say that many have had a smile that never reached their eyes,a sad and profoundly dark side that manifested itself from time to time .When it did ,and these were in settings from the brief encounters right up to advising people who had formed relationships with people who had a dark side to their personality that had remained hidden to their loved ones .
You see,we never truly know a person,we don’t know what their past is,though we all think that we are good judges of character,don’t we?
My blog post has as it’s question a slight hint of moral enquiry,but it also seems to me to invite something of ourselves.You see,can we truly know what we are with ut a level of emotional intelligence?I write this ,not to insult ,but as a genuine imperative,because ,if we don’t know what we are ,then we might be that person who wants to put on a facade to ourselves and we might spend time watching others but never truly look at ourselves.
“I’m talking to the man in the mirror,I’m asking him to change his ways”
This song ,made famous by the late Michael Jackson was ,oddly enough,written by a female,but not ,at the time ,a famous go getter of the music industry,but by a struggling songwriter who was bringing up a child on her own and trying to make her way .
So,next time you meet that bubbling person ,the one with the smile and quick reply and soft voice,remember that ,like you,they will have their own mirrors to look into ,because ,in the end,we all have a mirror into our heart.
My coda as it were is this,”everyone is fighting a battle that you don’t know about”.
Keep people watching though,who knows ,you might be a natural at it ,but check the mirror when you have a comfort break and have a look at yourself too.Ive learnt that it’s the best thing to do after 63 years.
kernowsmith 